No, Your Anxiety Isn’t Just in Your Head—And That’s a Good Thing
How Melissa Finally Calmed Her Anxiety After Years of Talk Therapy
A Body-Based Approach to Lasting Relief
Have you ever wondered why anxiety persists despite all your efforts to overcome it? Perhaps you've tried therapy, read countless self-help books, practiced positive thinking, and still feel that familiar tightness in your chest or knot in your stomach when anxiety strikes. There's a crucial element that many traditional approaches miss—and understanding it could transform your healing journey.
Anxiety Lives in Your Body, Not Just Your Mind
One of the most important revelations in modern anxiety treatment is that anxiety isn't simply a thought pattern—it's a nervous system state. When I work with clients, I explain that anxiety serves a biological purpose: it's designed to protect you and keep you safe in threatening situations.
Under normal circumstances, this protective mechanism works beautifully. Your body detects a potential danger, your nervous system activates, and you respond appropriately. But here's what happens for many of us: our bodies can become frozen in a state of anxiety even when no real threat exists.
"Anxiety is actually a nervous system state," as researchers and practitioners now understand. "It's an emotion, not just your thoughts." This distinction is crucial because it explains why traditional cognitive approaches often fall short.
Think about times when you've tried to reason yourself out of anxiety. You might tell yourself, "There's nothing to worry about," or "I'm safe right now," yet still feel your heart racing, your breathing shallow, and tension throughout your body. This disconnect happens because anxiety doesn't just reside in our thoughts—it lives in our physical body, stored in various organs, tissues, and cells.
This is why changing your thoughts alone isn't always enough. Your rational mind might understand there's no danger, but your body remains in a protective state, responding to triggers that may remind it of past threats or stresses.
Do These Patterns Sound Familiar?
I've noticed some interesting patterns among those who struggle with persistent anxiety. Take a moment to reflect—do any of these resonate with you?
You were a naturally sensitive or empathetic child
You had caregivers who were emotionally or physically unavailable
You learned early on to suppress difficult emotions
You developed high-achieving tendencies and were often called "mature for your age"
You find yourself absorbing others' emotional states
You took on adult responsibilities before you were ready
If several of these sound familiar, you're experiencing what many of my clients do—anxiety that has become embedded in your nervous system through early experiences that taught your body to stay on high alert.
Why Traditional Approaches Often Fall Short
Here's what many practitioners don't explain: when anxiety becomes a stored body state, purely cognitive approaches (like traditional talk therapy or positive affirmations) might not fully resolve it.
This isn't to say that understanding your thought patterns isn't valuable—it absolutely is. But when anxiety has become a default nervous system state, you need approaches that speak directly to the body's protective mechanisms.
"I spent years trying to think my way out of anxiety," shares Donna, one of my clients. "It wasn't until I learned to work with my body through EFT tapping that things really shifted. I realized my body was still responding to old threats that weren't present anymore."
The Bottom-Up Approach: Healing Anxiety at Its Source
When working with anxiety, I've found that a "bottom-up" approach often creates the most profound shifts. Rather than starting with the thinking mind (top-down), we begin with the body and nervous system (bottom-up).
Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT or "tapping") is particularly effective because it works directly with the body's nervous system while addressing emotional components. By gently tapping on specific acupressure points while acknowledging feelings and sensations, we can help the nervous system release patterns of anxiety it's been holding—sometimes for decades.
"What made the biggest difference for me," shares Melissa, a client who struggled with anxiety for years, "was understanding that my anxiety wasn't a character flaw or just negative thinking. It was my body trying to protect me based on old information. Once I started working with my nervous system through tapping rather than just trying to change my thoughts, everything began to shift."
During an EFT session, we might focus on:
The physical sensations of anxiety in your body
Early memories where similar feelings were present
Gentle acknowledgment of how these patterns served you
Creating new safety signals for your nervous system
"The difference with tapping," as client Jennifer puts it, "is that I'm not just talking about my anxiety—I'm actually feeling it shift in real-time. There's something powerful about addressing both my thoughts and physical sensations simultaneously."
Creating Your Body-Based Anxiety Toolkit
Releasing anxiety doesn't need to be complicated, but it does require approaches that honor the body's role. Here are some practices you might consider adding to your toolkit:
Daily EFT tapping routines: Even 5-10 minutes can help regulate your nervous system
Somatic awareness practices: Simple body scans to notice where you hold tension
Gentle movement: Walking, stretching, or dance that helps process emotions
Breath work: Specific breathing patterns that signal safety to your nervous system
Creating physical safety: Adjusting your environment to help your body feel secure
Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate anxiety completely—it's a natural protective response. Rather, we're working to help your system recognize when it's responding to old stories rather than present threats.
A Simple Tapping Exercise to Try
Why not take a moment to experience a bit of EFT right now? Here's a quick exercise:
Identify a current anxiety trigger. What's weighing on your mind?
Rate your anxiety on a scale of 0 to 10.
Begin tapping gently on the side of your hand (the fleshy part below your pinky) while repeating a phrase like, "Even though I feel this anxiety, I deeply and completely accept myself."
Tap on the other points (top of the head, eyebrow points, sides of the eyes, under the eyes, under the nose, chin, collarbone, under the arm) while repeating your phrase or a variation of it.
Revisit your anxiety rating after one round of tapping. Notice any shifts or changes.
This practice can help create a moment of calm and clarity. The beauty of EFT is that it can be a tool right at your fingertips.
Taking Your Next Step
If you're realizing that your anxiety might be more body-based than you previously thought, that's actually good news. It means there are whole new avenues for healing available to you.
Consider starting with a simple daily tapping practice. Find a quiet moment, place your hand on any area where you typically feel anxiety in your body, and gently acknowledge what you're feeling while tapping through the basic EFT points. You might be surprised at how quickly your body responds to this kind of attention.
And if you’d like personalized support, I invite you to book a free consultation. We’ll gently explore the patterns affecting your nervous system and talk about what kind of support might help you move forward. Having a guide who understands the body-mind connection can accelerate your progress and offer tools tailored to your unique experience.
A Gentle Reminder
Wherever you are in your journey with anxiety, please remember—your body isn't broken. It's been doing its best to protect you. The hypervigilance, the physical symptoms, the racing thoughts—these were all originally meant to keep you safe.
With compassionate attention and the right tools, your nervous system can learn new patterns that serve your present-day needs.
The path forward isn’t about fighting your anxiety—it’s about listening to what it’s been trying to tell you all along. Your body holds not just the patterns of stress, but also the wisdom needed for lasting transformation.
When you're ready, support is here for you.
With care,
🌿 Kay
